Whatever happened to regular soap?

The other day I'm washing my hands at work when I reach for the soap but find that its not really soap. Well okay it looked like soap (I mean it was yellow and creamy looking) but there was something not right about it. The "flavor" of the soap was "Milk Protein and Honey".

What the heck? First off, I'm pretty sure don't want "milk protein" on my hands. Maybe if by hands they meant stomache then yes. Putting milk on your hands is just weird. And seriously, honey? Do they really want me to drink this stuff? (Mind you I was this close to poppin' off the pump and takin a swig of it but I thought people at work would look at me weird)

But seriously, enough is enough. Why the heck would I want my hands smellin like milk with a dash of honey. I've smelled milk before and I'm pretty sure I don't want that smell all over my hands. At first it was all good with scents such as watermellon and lavendar. I mean cmon, who doesn't love the scent of lavendar on one's hands? Plus, the ladies digg that kind of stuff. And I mean don't get me wrong, I love drinkin' milk and I do enjoy a cup of tea with honey but soap, now thats just weird.

Facebook Chat = FAILURE

So its not that I hate Facebook Chat. I thinks its a really cool and innovative way to talk with your friends in real time. The thing that irks me is that it really isn't in real time. Most of the time, Facebook Chat takes so long to send/receive messages that it would be much easier just wall post.

Today it got to the point where I couldn't even send messages anymore. I was talkin with my friend on the accursed chat application when all of a sudden it started takin forever to send my messages (to be honest, Facebook decided that one of the things I sent was important so it just didnt send it). Then all of a sudden it went crazy and sent a huge wad of text that my friend had sent. When I tried to respond it supposedly "sent". Yeah turns out though, it hadn't and after 10 minutes of waiting I refreshed the page only to find out that my huge novel that I had written had somehow disappeared. So I got pissed and got off the stupid website (but not before my friend started callin out to me like when Darth Vader yelled out "NOOOOO" for god only knows how long)

Stupid Facebook.

Terrorist Have Myspace? Oh no!...Wait is that site still around?

So I just read this article on CNN that talked about how the Marines (my bud Jamie Derr SHOTOUT) have banned social networking sites (including Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter) for a year due to fear of terrorists using these sites as portals for performing malicious attacks.

To be honest, its a pretty easy to envision this scene taking place. I can already see some Al-Qaeda terrorist sitting in some random cave in no mans land with a Compaq Presario running Windows 95 and laughing menacingly like "heh heh heh", posing as a 15 year old skater kid with spikey designer gel named Flash Johnson whose favorite band is Blink-182 and loves to "grind and ollie" while posting ridiculous status updates on Myspace (because everyone LOVES Myspace...) like "Flash Johnson is hanging ten with his broskies".

Yeah, I could definetly see this.

How do advertisers know so much about me?

So I was sitting in front of the computer just doing some typical browsing when all of a sudden I see this advertisement load on the screen. Turns out, its for a site called Shaadi.com. For those who aren't Indian (which I guess in the grand scheme of things isn't a lot of people but if you really sit down and think about it, you notice that there are a lot of Indians so yeah watch out China, we've almost caught up), it's kind of like (and by kinda I mean is most definitely like) Chemistry.com or Match.com or any of those online dating sites except this ones specifically for Indian people.

The ad itself isn't very big. Its about 10 inches long and 3 inches wide so it takes up a good amount of the screen. The tagline for the ad reads "Celebrate the joy of marriage" and then underneath it is an Indain girl in her mid twenties dressed in traditional Indian dress.

The first thing I thought when I saw this ad was, wow, if I ever have to use the internet to find a girl to marry, well then hell I ain't gettin married. Then it hit me. How the hell did Yahoo! Sports know I was Indian. I was logged into my email account but its not like when I signed up for Yahoo! Mail all those years ago, that I had checked a box for being Indian. Was the internet somehow extracting my racial information from the sites I go? I mean I guess Indian people do love Yahoo! (just like how they love Japanese cars, specifically Honda and Toyota, and BK Coffee) but I mean cmon, doesn't everyone love Yahoo!.

But I guess its not just Yahoo! thats in this game of extraction because it seems though Google is somehow in on the game as well. For all who don't know, Google I guess has merged with Blogger.com since you know have the ability to sync your Gmail account with your Blogger account. I enjoy using Blogger since its easy to use and has a nice "aura" to it. It is also very user friendly and includes a toolbar above your text box where you type your post. Well turns out, Blogger is so user friendly that next to my "Remove Formating From Selection" button (which evidently is not an eraser but oddly looks like one) is a button that allows me to type in Hindi, a language I have no idea how to speak.

Thanks Interwebz for making me feel at home and thanks Rod Benson for making me take notice, I hope you play for the Nets soon.

Not Much...EXCEPT THE PENS!!

Well its been a slow couple of days since nothing out of the extraordinary has come down to piss me off lately but on a good note, THE PENGUINS WON THE STANLEY CUP!

For those who don't care for hockey hear this. I too did not care for hockey. Though at one point in my life I did play roller hockey and actually, I did forge a team known as Oriental Express during my high school years. But to be honest, I never really watched hockey. Its not that the game was boring, it was just, something else. Then I came to Pitt.

I believe its the people, the fans, that really make a team. Thats why I believe the Pens are so fortunate. The fans that follow their team are not only loyal but full of energy like the team itself which is made up of many players in their 20s. So for this team of youngsters to come back from the loss of much and win the Stanley Cup is a truly remarkable (and once in a lifetime) sight to see (unlike the dang Magic...but I guess the Lakers deserved it...I guess...).

And on that note:

Dear Pittsburgh Penguins,

Thank you.

A Sourdugh Baguette

So I'm sittin here (the where is inconsequential) readin this really long and boring MCAT book (which honestly requires me to drink at least 2 cups of coffee before I start reading it) and its talkin about carbohydrates and what kind of path it takes inside your body (disgusting path).

So the paragraph starts out with "You purchase a sourdough baguette an tear off a hunk". I mean right of the bat, even before I reached the word hunk which I mean seriously, a. I always thought it was chunk and b. hunk sounds like somethin disgusting like that piece that you took off was infested with Swine Flu or somethin. Anyhoo, baguette?!? I had to check if this "Princeton Review" book was actually from America. I mean seriously, who the hell says baguette. Like who goes to the store and "purchases" and sourdough baguette. I mean I guess if you were going to purchase said item, it would have to be done in a classy sports coat/exquisite shirt combo with maybe a scarf even though its the summer and a one of those hats that hobo artists wear to look sophisticated. Oh and don't forget ze franch acceuntt (yeah that's how they say it in France, I would know cause I saw Rush Hour 3 which let me tell you was seriously the worst movie ever).

The moral of the story is:
Dear MCAT Biology writers,
The sentence should actually read:
"You bought some Wonder Bread and pounded it out in a solid 20 minute span."
Stop trying to be all high and mighty with your sophisticated terms like hunk and tear and get back to the roots.
Thank you.

Law and Order: Legit.

So I've been watchin Law and Order for a couple of years now and let me tell you, they are all amazing. I mean, not just Law and Order, but Law and Order: Criminal Intent and Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I mean some people hate on Law and Order: CI but the thing people need to understand is CI is totally different then the other ones. Actually, to be honest, there all different from each other. Let me explain:

LAW AND ORDER
This one almost always starts out with some being found dead. Then the cops go and try to find the culprit (this takes about 30 mins). Then the rest of the 30 mins is the DAs sendin these punks to jail. The best part about this show is that the good guys don't always win, that the People aren't always on the winning side. I mean yeah I hate it when this happens but eh thats life right?

LAW AND ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT
CI starts with a back story about the killer/victim. Then the rest of the time deals with the detectives hunting down the bad guys, finding clues, trickin bad guys to give themselves up, and just plain being BAMFs. The difference between the regular show and this one is that the deaths in this show are more brutal and no trails.

LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT
Like Law and Order, this ones starts out with someone usually being found dead. The rest of the show is filled with detecive work and sendin the bad guys to the cell. The difference between this show and the other shows is that these crimes are all sexual based crimes. Plus this show has Ice-T so yeahh thats already need.

So yeah pretty much:
Dear Dick Wolf,
Thank you.